The Every-Other-Day Bloggo - 10/22/21

Blog #42

Ha! I bet y’all didn’t expect me to be back so soon! ... At least it didn't take me four months like last time 😏

Daily Quote: "I would challenge you to a battle of wits but I see you are unarmed."

Useless Fact: "From 1781 to 1850, the planet Uranus was named George." Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, George, Neptune... I see why they changed it 😶.

What’s up With Me: I had basketball camp and VBS this summer, and just finished two soccer leagues. I’m pooped. 😶 I’ve been thinking about which one to tell you all about first… basketball… VBS… or SOCCERRRRRR… Hmm, I think VBS. SO, buckle up folkies cuz VBS was one WILD ride this year!

Day 1. Was A M A Z I N G. So fun… ok we got there two hours early to finish decorating and rehearse the skits that we put on for the kiddos, and then we all had lunch. The skit went well, except for the fact that during the first half of it the church’s super noisy air conditioning was on and no one could hear the lines… 🤦‍♀️ The skit was still a success tho. At least I think it was…

After that the kids went into their Bible classes and we figured out who was taking them where to play which game. For the first game period I was teamed up with Ai- actually I can’t do real names… (That’s true about all of these stories, btw. As I’ve said before, the names have been changed to protect people who are very, VERY, guilty) hmm, for our purposes we shall call him Adoniram. *whispers* He never needs to know… deal? Anyhoo, we were with the 8+ age group, and we took em into the church’s giant backyard to play crab soccer. And Adoniram turned these children into a strict regiment of soldiers, and made em march to each game and class. So, throughout the church everyone could hear, “LEFT! LEFT! LEFT, RIGHT, LEEEEFT!!!!!!!!!!!”

So, all the kids got into the crab walk position and tried to play soccer and failed. 😁

Then we switched to just regular good ol soccer. (And y’all know how much I looooove soccer so that was fine by me!) And after the game dear ol’ Adoniram Juds- 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ AHEM, and after the game ADONIRAM challenged me to 1 vs 1 after VBS. Which I was ok with, and I informed him that I would beat him to a pulp when we played. 😉 Only dark spot in that time period was this little girl that was 7, but wanted to be with the 8+, who burst into tears whenever she lost a game because, here let me quote her, “*sniff, sniff* But I’m so much littler than all the rest of themmmm!!! *cue the quivering lip and giant tears*” Honestly, watching her cry for the first time is absolutely heartbreaking, but after about six times, you get the idea that she’s just really good at crying on demand.

Next period I had the 4-5s with my trusted buddy Karina. (I wonder if y’all will ever know their real names… hmm… I’ll have to think about that one.) So we went over to the classroom, completely unprepared for the absolute TORTURE that lay ahead of us. You see, the 4-5 y/o from OUR church are little angels that usually listen to us! However, there were two little girls who were visiting that were polar opposites to the children of our church. We tried to play a cup flip game with them, called Right-side Up, Upside Down. It’s fun… with older kids. These children crushed ze cups. 😬🤷‍♀️ One little girl ran up to me and squealed in my face, “YOU’RE SCARYYYYYY!!!!” And ran away giggling. I had to chase her, ofc. By the end Katya and I were suuuuper tired. 🥴 (During one of the rest periods while the kids were in bible study, I used her as a pillow and tried to take a nap but CERTAIN HUMANS wouldn’t allow it. She was a very bony pillow…)

Then, I played flashlight tag with the 6-7, with… ummm… Genevieve. (I’m feeling creative with fake names, what can I say?) That was actually pretty uneventful, the kids were pretty good children.

After that, the kids went to their snack and craft which was making these rocks called Kindness rocks. (Y’all have seen them in parks and stuff) The lady running that craft asked me to help out, so I did, and I went around making sure no kids digested any paint or tried to tattoo themselves with sharpie. I painted a rock and while I waited for it to dry, I went over to where Adoniram was sitting with a kid named Antonio. (literally, that’s what we call him. His real name is something I can’t say because HE IS GUILTY yet I must protect dis child. And actually I call him Tony in a mafia mobster accent. XD) And I said hi, and started talking and the dialogue went like this…

Tony: “So, how old are you?”

Me: “Bro, imma hundred and six.”

Tony: “No you’re not!”

Me: “You callin me a liar kid? 🤨”

*Jeremy walks by*

Jeremy: “Well she certainly isn’t a truther…”

So it kept going on like this. And he was like,

Tony: “Nah, you gotta be like 30.”

Bahaha, this kid thought I was 30… that cracks me up…

Adoniram: “You think she’s 30? How old do you think I am?”

Tony: “19?” (Adoniram’s 17, jsyk)

Adoniram: “You think she’s older than ME?”

Me: “Kid, that’s 100% accurate. 😉”

So we kept bantering back and forth, until he says…

Tony: “You gotta be like 15 to 20…”

Me: “Sorry, Tony, I’m 106 and I’m married with four kids. In fact, my husband’s picking me up after this!”

Tony: “You can’t have a husband!”

Adoniram: “Look, kid, you seem a little concerned that she’s married. Is there anything we should be talking about? 🤨”

Tony: “WHAT?!”

Adoniram: “All I’m sayin is you seemed a little concerned…”

Adoniram kept teasing like that whilst I was called away on business so important that I can’t remember what it was. 🤷‍♀️

When I came back…

Tony: “YOU’RE THIRTEEN!”

Me: “Nah, bro I’m a hundred and six!”

Then I found out that he went over and asked Jamie who told him my true age. (of course I insisted that she couldn’t be trusted and that I really was 106 😉) Then he kept asking how old people were and found out that Jamie’s almost 16.

Tony: “Wow, you’re short for your age!”

Thus, Jamie has been deemed, “Shorty” by Tony. *bows*

Oh, yeah she retaliates by calling him “Baldy” since he’s got a really short buzz cut. (Like shortest I’ve ever seen)

For the last game period I was with Addie with the 4-5s playing throw the bean bag into the sombrero. Addie and I took turns wearing the sombrero whilst children tried to knock us out with bean bags. 😶 A few almost succeeded. One boy hit a girl in the face with a bean bag. 🤦‍♀️ I gathered all the facts of the case. Girl’s cheek was red, meaning she was hit hard. I asked boy what happened, he claimed it was an accident. I asked him to apologize. He said he wouldn’t. (Kids, that is something you shouldn’t try at home.) I told him that if he didn’t we’d have to have a talk with his mom. You know what he did then? He turned around and started W A I L I N G. Good grief, I didn’t rightly know what I should do, but there were some adults around who tended to him, and he ended up with his momma anyway. But two ladies asked me what happened, and both started laughing when I told them... children are handfuls.

Then… the soccer match. I… lost. 😥 Shocking, ik. BUT I LITERALLY FIGURED OUT WHY AT PRACTICE THE OTHER DAY AND NOW I FEEL STOOPID AND WANT A REMATCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And I’d rather not recount the details since they are too painful, but I will tell you that that dude knocked me over. I fell flat on mah back. 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ But I had a few great plays. He just had more… ☹ He was a good sport tho, and said I’d only lost since I’d been playing with kids all day and was exhausted, so that’s my excuse.

WOW THAT WAS A LONG POST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEW RECORRRRRRD!!!!!!!!!

-Se you Later! 👋

I CAME UP WITH THAT ON MY OWNNNNNN FEEL PROUD OF MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!