Blog #46
5/31/2022- “I’ll stop playing soccer when I stop breathing.” Well the OG quote actually said volleyball but since soccer is obviously superior… ya know. So. HOW IN THE WORLD ARE Y’ALL?! I’m good, thanks for asking. 😉 Omw can I just say some peoples are so stinking sweet. There’s this girl I just met, and she just emailed me, and she ended her email with, “love you” and I was like AHHHHH HOW ARE YOU SO NICE?! Just a reminder to be kind cuz you have no idea how that kindness might affect other people. <3. AnYhOw I have a story for you guys.
*Detective accent*
It was a warm shunny day. But that won’t shtop a shyster (what does that word even mean) from me from doing her duties. Sho I’m shtanding at our kitchen shink wrashing dishes when all the shudden I feel shomthing watching me. I shlowly turn around and find… my dog looking up at me.
Nahhh that’s not the thing I felt shtaring.
Sho I look out my window. Shure enough ders a doe (dats a female deer genius) curled up on de ground in de back of my yard. She was shtaring right through me. I looked at her. She looked very… PREGNANT?!
I called to my shister and greeted her how all great detectives greet women.
“Hiya dollface. What’s new?”
“The damage to your body if you don’t call me by my real name.”
Ok that exchange didn’t actually happen that’s a quote from AIO.
“Shis, deres a deer curled up in our yard I think she’s a gonna give birth dere.”
She didn’t really care. -_- So I told my mother dearest. She freaked. XD.
“A DEER?! WHERE?!” So I showed her de deer. She tried to shcare her off. I splained to her that shince the doe was about to give birth IN OUR BACKYARD she wasn’t about to move until after the babies were born. Sho I go back to my duties. El-girl has sheen the deer by now and we’ve all had a chance to admire her. Mother made a terrible deshision next. She informed me that I must take out the trash. WITH THE DEER OUT THERE.
“MUM IM NOT SCARING THAT POOR BABY AWAY.”
Mother won. :/
I go out shinging You’ll be In my Heart from Tarzan and that sheems to calm her, and she didn’t run, although she stood up.
And I discovered she wasn’t actually pregnant. …
So mom starts clapping and hollering for her to leave and I was thoroughly disappointed that I didn’t get to see a real live baby deer birth. 😒
Sooo that was my excitement for the day, lol.
(This is a short blog because I have to go finish school so bai, go tell someone you love them cuz, “If I tell ya I love ya then we fam now” but like don’t say that to a member of your opposite gender cuz that’d be creepy and don’t say it to anyone who you don’t want for fam cuz then you’re stuck with a super clingy weirdo friend and don’t say it to a bull because when they hear those words they think red and you will no longer exist. 😐 So in a nutshell (or nutcase) use that phrase wisely.)
~Selamander
(shout out to Lorelai Venters *muffled sobs* I MISS YOU LOR COME BACK PLEASE.)
eww. Lol sorry but you must be mistaken. Soccer is NOT EVEN CLOSE to superior! That my friend would be Football, or Baseball.
Omg this is so funny 😭😭😭 yesterday all I did was the first swim practice of the summer….and today all I really have is swim practice so 😐
My default sign-off on emails and cards and such is usually "love," but I end up changing it because I can't decide whether that sounds weird or not. (I don't change it when sending things to close family of course.)