The Every-Other-Day Bloggo 5/24/22

5/24/22- What up my folkies?! Daily Quote: “From every wound there is a scar, and every scar tells a story. A story that says, ‘I survived.’” Yes, I’ve decided I think I’m gonna stick with this format. (IT’S EASIER TO DO cuz I don’t have to do all the stinkin formatting and with this I can just let it be… DON’T YOU DARE SAY IM LAZY THAT’S ONLY PARTIALLY TRUE.), at least for a little while… Anyhow it’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood*, the birds are singing the grass is green, it’s mostly sunny, and it’s fifty degrees. 😐 I seriously do not think New York understands the meaning of nice weather. Last Saturday it was like 80 and now a stinkin four days later it’s in the 50s?! Explain that one to me NY.

A few of you might have notice that * up there. That is there because it raises a serious question: should a neighborhood be called a neighborhood if all the neighbors don’t socialize? (Srsly my neighborhood stinks. I don’t even know the next-door lady’s name. I think it’s Gloria. Maybe.) BUT maybe since it’s called a neighborhood and not a neighborship (like friendship), but then there’s the terms brotherhood (that term reminds me of Robin Hood XD) and sisterhood. So, I’ve decided to rename my neighborhood; it's a neighborville. BOOM.

Ok where was I before I so rudely interrupted myself…

Oh yep, I had a story for y’all… (This is a clipping straight from my diary so feel special)

“5/19/2022- So picture this… I’m getting ready for bible study, I grab my sneaker and start to unlace it to put it on… I look into the sneaker… it looks back at me. Literally. A. Big. Black. Spider. Stares. Back. At. Me. AND THEN IT STARTS CRAWLING. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 AND THEN I THREW THAT CHICKEN SNEAKER AND RAN FOR MY CHICKEN LIFE! *I may have screamed. Maybe* My dad comes down checks my sneaker, checks the area, can’t find spider. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 WHAT DO I DO NOW?!”

This is why I grew up with an incurable fear of anything with more than four legs. 😀

Also I just went to the mall with my girlie and my sister and our friend and girlie’s cousin for her birthday, and we did a MALL SCAVENGER HUNT! May I note that MY TEAM WON! And by ONE POINT! So I forgot most of the things on the list but I do have a story about one item.

A clothing hanger.

We were supposed to get a clothing hanger. Now you know that whenever you buy clothing on a hanger what do the salesclerks do? THEY STEAL YOUR WELL PAID FOR HANGER. (Well maybe they just take it back cuz it’s theirs but it’s all a matter of perspectiiiiive) So we were at a loss as to how to acquire this hanger.

Finally I was like y’all I got this I’m gonna wing it. My two teammates were too embarrassed to come along (bahaha see ya suckerssssss 😏💛) so I went on alone. I went into a Journey store and just asked the lady, “Uhm this is kind of a random question, but how much would you charge for a hanger?” She goes “You want a hanger? OF COURSE YOU CAN HAVE A HANGER!” then she CALLS HER CO-WORKER TO GO GET ME A HANGER 🤯. And I’m standing there having great conversation with this lady while they’re getting me the hanger! “So, I gotta ask, how many people have come in here asking for a hanger?” “Well, you would be the first…” 😶 So I marched back to my team showed them the hanger and they were like, “DUDE!” and then when we met up with our enem-ahem opposing team and showed them the hanger they were like, “NO FAIR! HOW DID YOU GET THAT?!” and then I told them and they told me, “I LITERALLY BOUGHT A WHOLE SHIRT FOR MY BROTHER TO GET A HANGER AND THEY DIDN’T GIVE IT TO ME!” 😭🤣 So we were talking about the Epicness of the hanger and then they were like, “Are you actually going to keep that?” and I was like, “duh YES! This hanger is going to be AT MY WEDDING GUYS.” So we were trying to figure out a way to incorporate hangers into a wedding ceremony (completely normal way to spend time) and so far, there was (1) we write “Bride” on it with fancy font and decorate it with flowers, (2) we use hangers as place tags on the tables at the wedding, orrrrr (3) we use it to hang the wedding dress on. (That last idea is soooo basic but it was my sister’s idea and she insists that we use it but no.)

But it’s completely unfair because the other team got to try on PROM DRESSES. 🥺😭 I just threw a dress on over my clothes and snapped a photo (one of the items was 'a picture of a team member wearing a fancy dress'). May I note that I did this in the FRONT OF THE STORE WHERE EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME. 🙈 Fun times… And my friend put makeup on me. 🥳 That was a definite win. And we got Starbucks. 🥳🥳 So yeah, that was my awesomely epic Saturday. 🙌

Also. SOCCER IS OVER! WHAT AM I GOING TO DO TILL AUGUST WHEN THE SEASON STARTS?! 😭

The only way I’ve been surviving is teaching myself new footwork techniques, but WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WHEN I LEARN THEM ALL?! DO I INVENT MY OWN?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

✨The only thing we have to blog, is blog itself ✨

Yeahh, ik that was cringe but I think it’s staying, I like the sound of it…

Cheers.

-Selahry (rip Jazzy from BJU cuz she came up with that nickname for me but technically she’s still physically alive she’s just dead from the Doc, Biochatting, and DLO website in general. She’s still partially alive on the Creative Corner. But if we’re gonna go there, rip Collin (WHERE’D YOU GO COLLYFLOWER?), rip the Google Doc, rip Zari, rip Lorelai and Elisabeth (😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭), rip me cuz I’m spending too much time on that au revoir.) Love y’all. <3

OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHHHHHHH I ALMOST FORGOTTEDDDDD!!!!

I’ve got a job opening for somebody!

WANTED: Assistant host. (Or co-host. Whatever you wanna call it.) You write blogs when I don’t have time, don’t feel like it, or am temporarily dead (yes, that’s a thing). You help keep TEODB alive while I… do… things… Must be a solid Christian. Must not use foul language. Must be funny. Must be between the ages of 12-18. Must have a life. (nvm no one does these days…) Must be good at dramatizing random incidents.

This makes me think… what if we have an entire TEODB STAFF?! Elly already kinda revises these before they’re posted so she’s editor. Co-host. OOoOOooOOooOOooh how about RESEARCH ASSISTANT?! Someone to give me funny rando topics to rant about! WHO’S INTERESTED?!