The Every-Other-Day Bloggo - 9/2/21

Blog #41

Disclaimer: Ok I wrote this a *long* time ago, I have so many more stories to tell y’all since the bloggerini was closed over the summer… Anyhoo, prepare for the return of TEODB!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I’M BACK FOLKIES!!!!!!!!!!! I’M BACK!!!!!!!!!!! I’M DONE WITH SCHOOL! I CAN BLOG REGULARLY AGAIN!!!!! THE EVERY-OTHER-DAY-BLOGGO IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!

(Yes, TEODB. I apologize but… I couldn’t bring myself to change the name. 🤦‍♀️ TEODB is what I built this bloggerini on… I can’t change it. Even if the name is a lie and I don’t post every-other-day. BUT NEVER FEAR!!!! I have another option! All that creativity that y’all put into mah form will be featured in the next post, and a lot of your ideas will be turned into slogans/mottos/catchphrases. So… yeah, I just couldn’t change it! It’s The Every-Other-Day-Bloggo, so even if This is Embarrassing, I just can’t change the name.)

Quote of the Day: “'OUT OF MY SIGHT! THOU DOST INFECT MINE EYES!' Insult better. Quote Shakespeare." Man for a guy who lived back in the 17th century, this dude had some pretty good roasts.

What’s up With Me: Actually a lot of things are up with me. #1. I got stabbed… by an avocado. (More bout that in Story Time) #2. I started a new workout plan! And people I am sore in places I didn’t know I had places. 😶 Srsly, the person who created these exercises must’ve been raised in Nazi Germany, cuz I can’t come up with any other explanation for such cruelty and unimaginable PAIN. -_- 3. Actually there isn’t a three I can think of. Gimme a sec… oki I got it. My friends moved to Florida. 💔 THAT’S HALFWAY ACROSS THE NATION AWAY FROM HERE!!!!!!!!!!! *weeping and gnashing of teeth* (Shout out to Kinzie Bynum for coining that in her biochat messages that I totally didn’t stalk. 😁 Love you Kinz.)

Story Time! HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT AM I SAYING?! THIS IS NOT CUTESTY LITTLE ✨ Story Time! ✨ THIS IS A STORY OF A STABBING!!!!!!! IT SHOULD SOUND AWFUL! DRAMATIC!

THE UTTERLY GRUESOME, GHASTLY, AND ALL-AROUND NASTY TALE OF THE EVIL GREEN FRUIT THAT EVERYONE THINKS IS A VEGETABLE THAT ATTEMPTED TO MURDER MS. SELAH M. CANFIELD! Enjoy.

Ahhh, much better.

(No, the rhyme was unintentional, but I love it so I’m leaving it. 😉)

Our victim, Ms. Canfield, was in the middle of a power outage. Normally a non-deadly thing, fyi. And she had just finished one of her Nazi-Germany workouts. AND IT WAS LUNCH TIME. She was starving, and without any source of sustenance. She couldn’t heat up leftovers since le microwave was out of commission. Frozen food was not an option for the same reason. They were out of luncheon meat, so she couldn’t have a sandwich. Her only option was the green avocados sitting on the countertop. (YES, THESE THINGS ARE FRUITS!!!!!!!!!! THEY HAVE A SEED IN THE MIDDLE!!!!!!! THEY ARE LIARRRRRRSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEY SHOULD BE HANGED!!!!!!! Although we kinda kill them when we pluck em off their trees and slice em open to eat em, so a hanging isn’t really necessary… BUT ANYWAY…) Canfield looked at the avocado. The avocado looked at her. She looked at the avocado. The avocado looked at her. SHE GRABBED THAT DARK GREEN FRUIT AND SLICED IT OPEN WITH THE SHARPEST KNIFE AVAILABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!! And… that particular avocado was rotten. -_- SO SHE GRABBED THE NEXT AVOCADO ON THE COUNTER!!!!!!!!!!!!! AFTER SLICING IT OPEN, SHE FOUND IT WAS THE PERFECT AVOCADO!! Except for one thing… the seed was really, REALLY stuck in the avocado. So, she tried to jimmy the seed out with the blade of the knife, but that failed, sooooo, she inserted the tip of the knife into the seed and pushed. HARD. And the sneaky avocado softened itself and made the knife go ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE AVOCADO AND INTO MY HAND... I was somewhat shocked, after pulling the knife out of my hand. I ran over to the sink and began rinsing it out with cold water and then... hehe the room started spinning around me like a county fair carousel. I think I called my mom but I'm not exactly sure... anyway, ten minutes later I was sitting in our living room and my mom was tending to my woooooooooouuuuuuuuuund. So… I lived through it but I have a scar on my hand… *shrugs* But ya know… YOU’RE NOT ALONE WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE!!!!!!!!! SCARS COME WITH LIVIN!!!!!!!!! YOU YOU’RE NOT ALONE!!!!!!!! SCARS COME WITH LIVINNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!! Teeheehee I NEVER EVEN LISTEN TO TOBYMAC!!!!!!! Ahhahaha I crack myself up…

Prayer Challenge: Pray for Afghanistan. (Go read Charis’s latest blog for the news on what’s happening over there and pray, pray, and pray again.)

<3 Se